4.09.2008

My Interview Was CUT From Expelled!

I can't believe this!

Jesus is coming back in only a matter of days, and I get the disappointment of a lifetime: my interview for the film Expelled! has been cut!

I've personally been unable to attend a screening, for fear of Richard Dawkins or PZ Myers showing up, but a friend of mine attended a recent screening in California and informed me that I was not in the film nor in the end credits! I get the feeling that "Big Hollywood" thought the information I gave was too dangerous for the children they're busy indoctrinating.

As soon as I get raptured, I'm going to kick Mark's ass.

4.08.2008

Less Than 12 Days Until Jesus Returns

It's gonna be so sweet. I can't decide if I want to laugh at those left behind as I'm being raptured or bask in the glory of Jesus. It's a tough call. I'm thinking the choice will be clear when the situation is upon me.

I'm looking forward to seeing many people; Grandpa, Grandma-ma, Poppy, Nan-Nan, Aunt Mack.

Someone else I'm looking forward to meeting is Illinois State Representative Monique Davis (D). Yes, I actually want to meet a Democrat. Why? Because of the below video (please ignore the last few minutes, some idiot made this video).

4.01.2008

Return of: The Flat Earth Society

As a believer in the pre-Tribulation return of Christ to rapture me and all other (real) Christians, Jesus isn't the only thing I see making a comeback in the near future. I envision the return of the Flat Earth Society.

During the 7 years of the Tribulation, those left behind with the Antichrist(s) will realize that the Earth is flat. And Jesus will prove it: He'll redeem God's science as he redeems God's chosen.

If the Earth were round, Jesus' return on his awesome dinosaur wouldn't appear simultaneously to everyone on the planet. The people on one side of the planet would see Him coming first, and could call their friend on the other side and tell them to pray and accept Jesus real quick – and I don't think Jesus wants that to happen. Only a flat earth will permit the grand spectacle that day, and all will witness... and my friends and I will ride back on our own awesome dinosaurs.

Here's a graphical depiction of how that works.


Less than three weeks away now. It's going to be so sweet.